This is a screwed-up yardstick if there ever was one. At the end of the day, we are not going to be remembered for our accomplishments. We are going to be remembered for our relationships. For the lives that we touched. For the people we loved. For the ways that we were good to others. Those are un-measureable accomplishments, and they far outweigh anything that we could cross off of a to-do list.
It is very difficult to hold onto these priorities in the face of the messages that we get about work and complete-able accomplishments. We get those messages from our environment, from our culture, and often from parents and teachers. We must reframe what is important in our lives and hold firm to the value of relationships.
I am one of the best to-do-list-crosser-offers in the business. Give me a set of tasks, and I will have no trouble planning how to get them done and doing them. And I must admit that I enjoy the feeling of productivity that comes with crossing off those items.
But that good feeling ends up being hollow. What am I left with? A list with a bunch of lines through it. When I focus more on people and less on tasks, I gain a much greater sense of satisfaction and meaning in my life. The connections that I can make with other people can be very powerful and deeply rewarding. It is not surprising that I was drawn to a career in education, as education is a human enterprise that takes place through relationships. I am fortunate to engage in very rich relationships with many people in my professional life (my students, my colleagues, researchers, etc.). And in my personal life, I make the effort to stay connected with other people. It’s what I like most about Facebook. It’s why I write this blog.
So the next time you think about what you did one day, rather than tally your accomplishments from your to-do list, think about the relationships that you formed and the connections that you made with other people. Let yourself appreciate the power of personal connections, and take the time to nurture those connections with the people in your life.
