Rhoda Bernard, Ed.D.

When I turned 40, a dear friend of mine told me about a list that he had made when he turned 40. He made a list of 50 things that he wanted to do by the time he was 50 years old. He has used that list to guide him and has enjoyed doing the things on the list.

At first, I got too ambitious and put together a 42 by 42 — 42 things I wanted to do by the time I was 42 years old. It became clear very quickly that this sort of a list was unrealistic. It takes far more than 2 years to do such a long list of things! I soon revised my list into a 50 by 50 list of my own.

My list has several different types of items in it. Some of them are one-shot deals — recipes I would like to make, trips I would like to take, and so on. Others are lifestyle changes that are ongoing — such as wearing a skirt at least twice a month or keeping fresh flowers in my house on a regular basis (difficult to do with our cat, but something I am committed to trying). Still others are topics or areas that I want to learn more about, like art history (my knowledge is spotty) and architecture (beyond the superficial level that I know well). Still others are skills I want to develop, like playing a new musical instrument. A final group are social aspects of my life that I want to work on, like getting together with old friends I haven’t seen in a long time or reuniting with high school friends.

While I remember many of the items on my list, I do look at it periodically as a reminder. And once I have completed an item on the list (or incorporated it into my lifestyle, if it is more of a lifestyle item), I italicize it.

Come to think of it, “start a blog” was one of the items on the list.

As of today, 15 of the items are italicized, and I am less than a third of the way between 40 and 50. Not too shabby.

Attending to these things that I want to do for myself and incorporating them into my life contributes to my life balance. Only one item (write and publish a book) is work-related; all of the remaining items are personal in nature (and even the book could be personal, depending on what sort of book I decide to write and publish!).

I have recently heard about websites where you can create and share your lists of things you want to do. At  www.my50.com you can make a list of 50 things you want to do in your lifetime and share them with other folks. At www.43things.com you can create a list of 43 goals, share your list, and cheer on other people (and get cheered on by them).

Personally, I’d rather keep my list to myself. But some folks might like the social aspect and the accountability that comes from bringing other people into your process.